Pia Interviews Jessica

Jessica and her boxer Quinn are visiting Provincetown for a ten day stretch from their nine hour drive from Pennsylvania and so far she has hit the town running. While Jess was taking Pia out for a poopy, Pia had the chance to get her thoughts about the past week.

Pia: Hi and welcome to Provincetown. Thanks for taking the time to take me outside.

Jessica: Thank you for vomiting on my side of the bed.

Pia: Sorry about that, I got into something I shouldn’t have. Anyhow, tell me about your trip so far. What have you done?

Jessica: God what haven’t I done? Let’s start when I arrived Monday. We went to Showgirls where I watched in amazement at the most bizarre show I’ve EVER seen. My mouth was agape for this crazy Dina Martina character. Tuesday we took Quinn to the beach for the first time. He kept trying to drink the ocean.

Pia: I like my cousin Quinn except when he tries to sit on my daddy’s lap when I’m there. I snap at him.

Jessica: I know and if you ever try to bite him again I will drop kick you across the room.

Pia: Oh my. Anyhow, what else did you do?

Jessica: We got ice cream at Lewis Brothers…. Wednesday we started the day off with Yoga.

Pia: I’ve always liked the idea of spending an hour stretching.

Jessica: Then you would have loved this place. It was right down the road from home. Your daddy and I had the place to ourselves with the instructor. Then we went to Mystik Moon and got our fortunes told by Moses. He was dead on for both of us.

Pia: Is there more food in my future?

Jessica: This is about me, not you. Anyhow we rented two movies and spent the day at home. Thursday we ate dinner at Karoo Café as part of Night at the Chef’s Table a fundraiser for the AIDS Support Group of Cape Cod. It is one of the top TWO places I’ve ever eaten at. Friday, I went to Yoga again. Then your daddy, Uncle Mark and I ate at Fortune Cookie in the Aquarium Mall. We went to Ben and Jerry’s and got more ice cream.

Pia: It seems as though you eat a lot of ice cream.

Jessica: Only when your dad forces it down my throat…wink, wink, nudge, nudge…there seems to be an ice cream store on every corner in this town. Saturday I went jogging in the National Seashore, Province Lands. It was beautiful. Then your daddy and some friends over for a BBQ. We went to see Varla Jean, an Erotic film festival and an erotic fashion show. 

Pia: How was Varla Jean?

Jessica: I have a serious crush on a drag queen. I’m concerned for my gender attractivity.

Pia: And how does that make you feel?

Jessica: Frightened!

Pia: How were the erotic events?

Jessica: Hot. Girls and guys modeled some sexy outfits. The guys modeled condoms, fully erect, at the end of the show. It was mixed straight, lesbian and gay. Wow.

Pia: How would you sum up Provincetown?

Jessica: I’m gayed out but enjoying myself thoroughly. Now can you please take your poopy so we can go back inside?